Two For Two

When Lachoneus was a toddler we discovered he lacked some social skills. He did not like looking people in the eye unless he was comfortable with them...knew them well.  He did not like playing with other kids but only cared about objects (toys). He did not try to speak and did not react to show he understand, or was listening, when spoken to or asked questions.
Luckily with help and preschool Luke was able to catch up and be pretty normal by the time he finished Preschool.

Sterling and I thought Tiberias was a "normal" child...or "without social, mental or physical delays."
However, despite his social skills he was hard headed. If he believed something then nobody could persuade him he was wrong. And he would fight to convince you he was right. This is annoying to parents and teachers trying to TEACH.

 Tiberias is now 5 years and two months old. He is in Kindergarten. He is a big boy. Yet he is still difficult. 
He gets angry if we discipline him because he thinks we should never do that. He believes he is right all the time and should be allowed to get away with anything.

He also has a problem controlling his anger. He raises his voice in angry or whinny tones and moves his body in a tantrum. Over simple things. Looking at him one might say "What a drama king" or "Whoa! So dramatic!"
He is dramatic every day! And it is so much worse when he is tired...near the end of each day.

He also seems to believe he does not act that way. For example: throwing a fit because he wants a turn with the toy his brother is using (when he knows deep down all he has to do is say "Can I have a turn in two minutes?" and wait)...I might say "Tiberias! Calm down!"  Tiberias gets defensive towards me and says "Why are you saying that? I'm not doing anything!"
He often says "Stop telling me that!" even if he is doing something he is not allowed to do. He has an attitude like "I know the rules! Stop telling me!" even though he is currently breaking a rule.

I don't understand it. It's frustrating.

I recently tried looking up on the internet (again) some thing to help me know what to do about his behaviors. But I did not know what to call it...."How to stop my child from being a  drama queen?" I don't know!
I had no luck online...again.

Then my friend Druceal lent me a book that helps her with her son Bruce. It's "The Explosive Child" by Ross W. Greene

That is definitely the right way to describe Tiberias. The explosive child.

I started reading the book this morning. Even though Tiberias is nowhere as difficult as the child the book first introduces as an example...I am hopeful it will help me to learn how to help Tiberias. Sterling and I want so much for all three of our children to grow to be successful in every way in life. We try and try to understand our children and know how to help them overcome any trials they face. It is difficult!

Today I realize that Tiberias is not so perfectly "normal" as I previously thought. He has setbacks as Luke did. Only, so far we have not been able to help Ty overcome his.

Luke, by the way, still lacks some social skills. If a friend at school passing by says "Hi, Luke!" He usually does not reply and sometime does not really even look at them. Shy maybe?
Luke is quiet in social settings unless he is really comfortable. He loves doing things that are creative and hands on more than social.
Tiberias is the opposite. He has coloring, sitting to do anything with his hands...except maybe playdough. And Tiberias is good with the social! When it comes to talking with friends, adults or even strangers Tiberias is a pro! "Hi! I'm Ty! I'm 5! That's my brother over there! What are you doing?"
But Tiberias is also very energetic and can get too crazy with games etc. Playing games with kids...he doesn't do so well. He might start throwing things for fun or doing flips and kicks because he doesn't want to sit still. Especially older kids (Luke's friends) do not like that. But if you play the rights games (Power Rangers, etc) Tiberias does well.

I do need to say this...even though I say my boys are not "normal" the truth is...most kids have one issue or another. So the honest "normal" is to have delays or issues.

So far Athena has shown none. But often you don't see their problems until they are 3 or more in age.